First Congregational UCC - Platteville

The ninety-nine wouldn’t have hung around, except that there was a cappuccino machine in the break room.

Here at Agnus Day, we don’t have any trouble counting the cost. It’s the impulse purchases that kill us.

Humility: virtue on the DL.

Judging from the parking lot, some people find shopping at Walmart a fulfillment of the Sabbath.

I knew someone once who was really passive-aggressive, but I’d never have told them that to their face.

Anyone will tell you that the problem with purses that don’t wear out is that they go out of style.

Lately, credit card companies have become completely unreasonable, making it nearly impossible to live beyond our means. Here at Agnus Day, we blame the greed of others for ruining things.

I neglected to post this before leaving for a ten day adventure with my son and our dog. Sorry for that.

Some of you, no doubt, will be convinced by this that we, at Agnus Day Central, have waltzed right over the brightly painted line of good taste and decorum. To you we say, “You should see our foxtrot!”

At Agnus Day, we’re big fans of stream-of-consciousness exegesis. It makes us feel profound.

This week’s cartoon is dedicated to Jim L. He doesn’t think Agnus Day is funny. Please pray for his eternal soul.

A close reading of this text will reveal that the pigs’ sacrifice prefigures that of Christ. This provides Biblical proof for what we’ve said all along: “After Jesus, the thing we like most in the whole world is bacon.”

Now, had this woman been the CEO of a multinational oil company with a failed drilling operation in the Gulf of Mexico, then Simon would have totally been in the right.

“Concidences are spiritual puns.” — G. K. Chesterton